My body dysphoria has been extra bad lately. Sick of having this body. Of my “baby making” hips. My fat thighs. My belly. My breasts which are small but not nearly small enough. Sick of hearing my voice. It sounds so much more masculine in my head. Than I hear it on video and it doesn’t sound anything like what I thought it did. I wish sometimes I could grow a beard or at least to have that option. That I didn’t have to sweat to death wearing this stupid binder just to hide the tits that I don’t want to have. Tired of getting called ma’am. And how pretty I am rather than handsome. That my dick really is in a box. But only because I just bought it yesterday. Exhausted with people constantly questioning me on my choice to identify as trans and to go thru with the transition. Asking me whether I know the difference between gender identity and gender expression. Just because I identify as a gender fluid transman. Having to pee sitting down. Feeling dirty just because I finally stopped shaving my body hair. That most people won’t accept me for who I truly am. That I’m just “a cute girl” and why would I do this to myself? That this is all just a phase. Even though I have felt like a boy most of my life. Tired of being told that female is the way I was meant to be. Of not knowing what the fuck I am doing with all of this. There are just so many things. My brain is constantly going. It never seems to stop. Thinking of all the things I need to do to feel comfortable with myself. When most of the time I want to crawl out of my skin. And away from this…